On Being a Female Cliche

The writing was on the wall that 2018 was going to be difficult. By December of 2017 the sun, moon and stars had aligned and trouble was in the forecast. My mother’s cancer had returned for the third time and spread. My company had lost its last retainer client. So by New Year’s Eve, I knew that I was going to lose a parent and a job before that time next year.

I got back into the corporate world after three years of consulting and felt that I just needed to put some time in with a company. I said yes to the first company who would hire me. I wanted to use the underpaid job as a springboard to a better job. Even though I had worked as a consultant, built and exited a business, served as an elected official, getting hired as a 49 year old woman was an absolute bitch.

Unfortunately, about 6 months in to my career my mother’s cancer came back and deep in my gut I knew my parents weren’t prepared for her to die first. They lived in a big house, with so much stuff and my dad was approaching year 9 of a deep depression. It was only a matter of time before everything would align, she would die and I would have to step into the void and take care of my dad.

It happened in June 2018. She was ready, it was fairly peaceful. We had a beautiful memorial and I had hoped to take a leave of absence. That was short lived when I realized that there was no plan, my sister and I literally were making up the plan every day. I was staying in my dad’s house and was just completely unnerved by how vulnerable and unable he was to live on his own. So I extended my stay and quit my job.

I was working for a boutique branding agency and I knew that I would be leaving that job soon, but it is easier to find a job when you have a job. Now I would have another gap. Here I was, a walking cliche, a woman who stepped off for elder care.

Never mind that I hired caregivers, found a real estate broker and an estate sale team. I found a junk hauler, got Disabled Veterans scheduled for a furniture pick up. Helped get my father to and from senior independent living places to view them. Worked tirelessly to clean out cupboards and drawers and the gross task, empty their pantry. My sister and I were a force to be reckoned with…

I exemplified mad project management skills, decisive decision making skills, negotiating skills and management of a very fragile client, my father.

But, I was still a cliche for needing to leave my job to care for a family member. It happens everyday. And now, once again, I have to come back into the corporate workforce from a position of weakness, no current employment, past the age of 50, female and knocked off my career path.

What are your career interruption stories?

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