Miracle or Not?

I was born a spiritual person.

Before I get to the “miracle”, a little context about the point I’m trying to make.

Some people grow up in the church profoundly uncomfortable with the whole thing, not just because of old ladies who smell funny or having to sit through Sunday “school” when the backyard is calling. It’s because the concept of god and spirituality is utterly foreign and does not resonate with them at all (talking to you my Atheist friends).

But that wasn’t me.

I freely admit that spiritual and mystical experiences could be tricks of the mind. It’s entirely possible that my Atheist friends have been right about everything.

It’s impossible to prove or disprove the existence/non-existence of “god”. If you are a rational and objective person, you must concede that you could be wrong no matter what side of the fence you are on.

The point is that sometimes the experiences we have in life are POWERFUL. It’s hard to stay objective when you witness inexplicable things. I’d like to offer you the most solid “proof” of some kind of supernatural power that I can personally give. Will it prove anything? No. Miracle or not? You can be the judge, feel free to comment (but please be nice).

TAZ

Not long after 9/11, maybe in 2002 we adopted a dog from the shelter. He was a rat terrier named Taz. He was the coolest dog! Muscular, sleek, shiny, handsome dog. He was friendly. And not the overly friendly kind of dog that jumps all over you desperate for love. No. He was chill! He’d quietly sit by your side if you wanted, lay in your lap if you wanted, play rough if you wanted. Just a spectacularly cool-ass dog. Everyone loved him (even my parents and they don’t like dogs).

Taz was a runner though. Fiercely independent. If I opened the door he would attempt to run out every time, and several times he was successful. I could never track him down either, eventually we just learned to wait till he felt like coming home there wasn’t much more we could do.

One time though, hours later, he was laying in the ditch when I went outside. The inevitable happened, he got hit by a car. We scooped him up and took him to the emergency vet. His back was broken, a few vertebrae up from his tail bone, plus assorted cuts and wounds. The vet advised us to put him down.

We couldn’t bear to do it! So we didn’t. I carried him around in a laundry basket all that winter. It was a cold winter for Florida that year too. He’d bite at me no matter how gentle I was, every time I’d take him out to relieve himself. I understood it was because of the pain. We gave him pain meds, kept him cozy in the basket. He wanted to live too, he ate and drank.

Those were long, miserable months. Slowly though, he recovered. Time goes by and sometimes you just keep going, unaware of the gradual change.

Then one day, on a beautiful spring morning, I was sitting in the front yard. It was one of those perfect days you know? Crystal clear blue sky, cool breeze and warm sun, flowers blooming all over the yard.

And Taz. He was out there with me. His back was twisted to the right, deformed because of the accident. His left hind leg was tucked up and lame, looked like a chicken wing to me.

But he was flitting around, chasing lizards. His ears were all perky, he was happy! He got around just fine on three legs and was clearly enjoying the morning.

Suddenly, I was overcome with emotion. It hit me just then I hadn’t really though about it. I said “God… I never thanked you for healing my dog. Look at him! Thank you SO, so much.”

It’s difficult to describe the emotions I was having. A great whirlwind of PROFOUND gratitude, and relief, and JOY! I started crying with joy, such a really intense moment as I watched my dog enjoying the beautiful day. I kept saying thank you for healing my dog in my mind. Nothing is more poignant than the moment you internalize the fact that you made it through a very hard time and it’s OVER.

Just then as I was in the middle of this, Taz’s back made a series of violent jerks, 3 or 4 hard yanks to the left. And he put that leg down and ran on all 4 legs!!!! The twist was gone, and he ran full speed all around the yard. WHAT A MOMENT I tell you.

I of course lost my ever loving mind and got up out of my chair and started balling, raising my arms up to the sky! I probably looked like a lunatic to anyone driving by but who cares in a moment like that.

To reiterate: I was thanking god for healing my dog, when shortly thereafter, my dog was totally and completely healed.

This really happened! I am not making it up! My eyes are leaking right now reliving it.

At that time in my life I was a devout christian woman. So naturally I took this as confirmation of my beliefs. My god MUST be the real god. At that time, my interpretation was that it was kind of a reward. For my extreme gratitude and and faithfulness, even though he was maimed. Like god was saying “you think he’s healed? Watch THIS!”

But now after years of evolving out of religion, and puzzling over the whole thing, I think I accidentally stumbled upon something.

When I was looking at him in my profound gratitude, he WAS HEALED. It wasn’t like “oh thank you even though his back is messed up he is so happy” or “he’s only on three legs but it doesn’t matter”. He was perfect in my mind. I think the awesome force of my humble gratitude compounded with my pure joy and sincere love (what a cocktail!) solidified the unequivocal belief that he was healed, and made reality change!

My (now ex) husband is an Atheist. We’ve gone round and round about this a few times over the years. He said either I am lying (I’m not), I am delusional (I don’t think so?) or it was a one in a billion coincidence. That right as I was having this intense moment, Taz decided he could finally put his leg down. I don’t accept that though because his back was twisted, it healed up twisted to the right. There was nothing wrong with his leg, it was his back. It wasn’t natural, those jerks. How surreal!

I think experiences like this help to explain why religion is still hanging around. People attribute miracles to their deity or their own righteousness. I think this higher power is available to all of us. Once in a while, we accidentally tap into it.

I don’t know who or what that higher power is or where it comes from. No religion on earth has it right. That doesn’t matter though. It doesn’t reward the “right” people. It’s a force, a power source, like a flowing river or ocean. Occasionally we humans access it and I’m almost certain it only happens by accident.

Anyone proclaiming to cause miracles is a liar. Anyone who tells you they can make this happen for you is a cheat. But that does NOT mean things like this don’t happen.

It happened to me.

Related posts:

The song turns our attention to the fact that we belong to the army of God. Yes, we are not civilians; we are soldiers, and not soldiers in just any ordinary army. We belong to and serve in the army…

Do you remember that time you were thirteen and you felt that you had no future ahead of you? I wish I could tell you how life is now. You grew up in a environment that made you so bitter. I don’t…